#MarriageMondays – Jacob and Pheladi Molemane

We met at a church conference, during an interval between services. Because i was an introvert i wouldnt usually go out during intervals, id sit with my granny or just sing. My older sister told me about this new guy who had just joined the church whose name was Jacob and that very next service the Pastor preached about Jacob’s return home to meet his brother Esau and his name was changed to Israel after wrestling with God. On my way to the bathroom, i bumped into him, our eyes met and from that moment i knew he would be my husband. Don’t ask me how, it was like confirmation from above, we didnt say much to each other, just a simple greeting then i left. He then asked around for my contact details and thats how we later reunited. I was intrigued by the fact that his name is Jacob Israel and i believed there must be something about him.

Yes it was.

He was very clean and i thought if he can take care of himself, he will take care of me.

I had found the one I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and also i wanted to come out of sin and enjoy life with him without sneaking around, i wanted to be fixed into loving 1 person for the rest of my life.

My husband is not very romantic but he tried, he took me to Emperors Palace and did the honors over dinner.

I’m more focused, mature and recharged and i have support to fulfill my God given assignment because I’m with the one God created me for.

What has marriage taught you?

I’ve learnt that as a woman i can change for the better. For me the change was not only in terms of my last name but i was restored and my assignment resurrected. When I say I’m a new creation, I mean it, in true essence I’m a new creation mind, body and soul. New surname, new body weight, brand new person holistically.

What do you love most about being married?

Sense of belonging and stability.

What are some of the challenges you’ve faced in marriage and how did you overcome them?

When we started dating, he showed me his salary, i hadn’t asked him to and i didn’t understand why he did that then, but now I do, he was trying to be honest and transparent with me. He didn’t want me to have high expectations only to be disappointed in the end. There was a year when I was unemployed and he took care of the bills. When 1 drops the other is always there to cover up, its always been like that from the onset and anyway it’s God who gives us power to create wealth.

What do you mostly fight about?

We fought a lot when we met because we didn’t understand each other, we were in a long distance relationship (Gauteng and Limpopo) and that on its own created a lot of fights.

What irritates you about each other?

We live together now, we are fine, we understand each other much better.

How do you keep love alive?

We both play our roles so that everything falls into place. Also we are each other’s best friends, we know what makes the other laugh or tick, we don’t take issues into the bedroom and we just don’t stop dating.

What do you do for fun together?

Everything, literally. He is my partner in crime but we both love being outdoors doing the most simplest things.

Why do you think people don’t believe in the institution of marriage?

Bad examples in marriage

People marrying for wrong reasons such as money

Marriages that aren’t built on the right foundation which is God.

What advice can you give to people who are intending on getting married?

Follow your heart and not your mind, get married to the one you truly love not lust.

Don’t be pressurized into doing it.

How you know he or she is the one is that you’re at peace when you’re with them, no need to pretend to be something you’re not.

Get married to someone who shares the same spiritual and cultural beliefs as you.

Get married to someone who understands your assignment.