Names: Boikokobetso and Mathlohonolofatso
Married Since: 24 December 2016
Pet names: Lala, Rato Laka, Mohatsaka, Moratua, Waka, Baby, Love.
Kids: 2
Scripture foundation: Luke 1:37
How did you meet?
We met in Marikana in the early hours of the morning, I had just gotten a job waiting for transport to work then boom he was there, waiting for me I guess
Was it love at first sight?
Well, not really.
What attracted you to each other?
Him: Honestly her Beauty, her godly character, her friendliness, she was forever smiling. Something about her just caught my attention so strong and I just couldn’t resist it
Her: His confidence. His faith in God. His energy and enthusiasm for life.
Great personality and great sense of humor.
Why did you get married?
It was the right thing to do, marriage is a good idea because it’s God’s idea.
We loved each other and we did not see any reason to wait. Young as we were, we both felt ready, it felt right and we just wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Our souls just said yes to one onother.
How did he propose?
At work, in the tea room 😁 It was the 31st of December 2015 on a night shift, he went down on his knee and asked me to marry him I was both shocked and excited I did not see that coming especially at work and I said Yes! I mean I wouldn’t say No to such a wonderful man.
How has marriage changed you?
We started thinking big, became more united “I” became “We”, “Me” became “Us”
We became more connected and comfortable together. We started using money wisely, planning the future and kids. We developed more intimacy and grew more closer to God.
We grew deeper in love, became more patient and forgiving. We realized that we are players of the same team. We’ve learnt that marriage is a work of a lifetime, each day you wake up and go water your garden with love and prayer
What has marriage taught you?
It has taught us to place God first in our lives
It has taught us that although we are now one flesh, we are different people from different places with different minds so we need to continuously study one another, communicate just about everything, communication is the beauty behind it all
It has taught us that your husband/wife can’t read your mind
It has taught us to never go to bed angry, to laugh more, to give more than you recieve and that we are a team, we need to constantly compromise, be patient, be honest and forgive each other.
What do you love most about being married?
Having someone to grow old with.
The discipline that comes with it.
The oneness, having to build a legacy together for our children.
Having the greatest shopping partner.
When we look deep into each other’s eyes, it feels great.
There’s always someone to celebrate with: birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine’s Day.
We challenge each other to be the best we can be and then help each other reach those goals.
Marriage is a two-member team that always wins!
What do you mostly fight about?
Him: She loves staying behind in the car even when we have arrived home, she enjoys spending some little time in there before she gets out and I don’t.
Playing back-seat driver.
When my wife is a passenger in the car and traffic is bad, or a large truck pulls up alongside us, she panics, acting as if the world will soon end. I tend to get frustrated by this.
We fight for the TV remote when she wants one gospel and I want the news or wrestling lol
Her: When he leaves his socks on the bed after taking off his shoes.
When he’s busy with his cellphone and cannot hear what I’m saying and I have to repeat myself, I love attention
What irritates you about each other?
Him: Pretending she’s listening to me when she’s not.
When she takes long to get ready and I have to wait.
Her: When he asks if I’m going to eat something and takes it off my plate before I even have time to answer.
Asking where something is without bothering to look for it first.
How do you keep love alive?
Spending intimate time together. We pray together. Give gifts/surprise each other. We care enough to argue. We keep dating each other, we hold hands often and stay connected.
What do you do for fun together?
We sing and dance. Cook and bake together. Go out for movies, for picnics, for roadtrips and travel. We read books and share Bible verses.
What you think marriage is?
A lifelong union between a man and a woman that is instituted and ordained by God
What makes a marriage work?
Love, Patience, Commitment, Honesty, Respect, Forgiveness, Compromise, Proper communication, understanding each other, being there for each other. Knowing our positions as a husband and wife.
What makes it fail?
Poor communication, un-forgiveness, dishonesty, lack of respect, unfaithfulness, not knowing your position as a husband and as a wife.
What do you think is the reason for people not to believe in marriage?
Lack of knowledge and understanding of what marriage really is.
The high rate of divorce.
Coming from abusive families.
Fear of commitment.
Do you think pre-marital counseling is important and why?
Yes. It prepares couples for marriage , it helps couples to be certain about their decision to get married. It helps build communication skills. It helps couples to plan the future, to be both emotionally and financially prepared and it can also help prevent divorce.
Couples achieve a deeper understanding of each other and iron out differences concerning marriage
Why do you think there’s such a high rate of divorce?
Disrespect, couples don’t know how to fight fair.
Immaturity, some people’s marital expectations are childish/unrealistic.
Sudden character change.
Lack of commitment.
Poor Communication.
Infidelity.
Lack of equality in the Relationship.
Lack of Preparation for Marriage.
Emotional and Physical Abuse.
What measures can be taken to combat the high rate of divorce?
Put God’s word as the standard of your lives and marriage.
Pray together always.
Honor and Respect Your Partner.
Communicate on a Regular Basis.
Share Financial Expectations and Budgets.
Take care of yourselves.
Forgive quickly.
Do not try to control your partner.
Attend couples meetings, marriage seminars etc associate with couples who are positive about marriage and love.
What do you think are the roles for husbands and wives in marriage?
Husband Roles :
To be a leader, 1 Corinthians 11:3
Love unconditionally, Ephesians 5:25-30.
Be in a position of responsibility,
Provide for his family.
Work closely with his wife to provide emotional and financial support.
Pray for his wife.
Wife: To submit. Ephesians 5:24.
To show respect and honor to her husband.
To be faithful.
Be responsible.
Take care of household duties.
Respect the in-laws.
To be a helper.
To encourage and be the greatest supporter.
To pray for her husband.
What advice do you have for people who want to get married?
Be ready for change, be ready to adapt
Be willing to stick together because the aim is to stay married.
Don’t marry someone who makes you unhappy with the hope that they will change.
Decide Now If You’d Like to have Kids
Not everyone wants to make babies, so if you end up with someone who desperately doesn’t want to procreate, then you might have a problem on your hands.
Think About Sharing Money, be open and honest about your finances
