Names: Sibusiso and Tlou Angel Thusini
Married since: 3 December 2022
Pet names: We call each other LOVE most of the time… sometimes I say HusBaestie or Papa & other times Baby or Mama.
Kids: 5 kids we are a beautiful, blended family, pigeon pairs from either side & we have a son together.
Scripture foundation: John:8:32 and Galatians:2:20
How did you meet?
We met through my colleague who is a wife to his nephew, her name is Motlalepula Ndlovu, Met her through Mzwandile Ndlovu my nephew who is a husband to her colleague. They played cupid on us.
Was it love at first sight?
Not on my side, I saw picture and immediately saw a heartbreaker, it took a whole 8 months for us to start talking.
YES, it was, I saw my wife on that picture.
What attracted you to each other?
His fear and love for God, His commanding aura & his level of maturity.
Her heart for ministry work
Why did you get married?
Love and Purpose, we loved each other and saw it as the right thing to do for our future & ministry.
How did he propose?
He didn’t LOL he told me he is going to marry me on our first conversation. He just said he is sending a letter to my mom on my birthday.
How has marriage changed you?
Marrying Him has definitely changed me, made me a better person.
I’ve that learned that it can’t always be about me
What has marriage taught you?
That ONLY God is the foundation, the pillar and the shelter and also that healthy and functional marriages do exist, ours being one of them.
Taught me commitment and sacrifice, constantly dying to self.
What do you love most about being married?
The Companionship, we are friends first before we are spouses, oh and the legal SEX
Having a helper and a best friend.
Do you have specific roles designated to each other?
Not really, we are a team we work together in EVERYTHING, although my husband is a tad bit traditional, he wants to be the SOLE and ONLY provider.
What do you think are the roles of husbands and wives in marriage?
There shouldn’t be roles. Everyone must come to the party when needed but that’s just our pattern and it works for us.
Do you believe in love languages? If so, what are yours and does your partner communicate them well?
Yes, we do, Mine is all 5 of them while my husband prefers acts of service, we had to learn and master them and we communicate very well.
What is the most romantic thing you’ve done for your spouse?
A surprised him on his birthday with a low budget, he wasn’t expecting it because we didn’t have money to spend on luxuries Sent a letter to her family and asked for her hand in marriage on her birthday. Took her on a spontaneous trip to St. Lucia for our honeymoon.
How important do you think it is for couples to have a strong friendship and share common interests? What are some of the interests you share with your spouse?
We are both interested in God, Soul winning and a functional family structure, it’s important to have the same interest because that way you speak the same language and you become in sync, you can build properly when speaking the same language. You won’t have a tower of Bable situation when you are intertwined and share the same mind.
How do you balance marriage, work and raising children, if any?
Through proper communication which I struggled with in the beginning because I had a wrong idea of the man that he is given his demeanor, I could not ask him for help, we had a few disagreements with that seeing that we were still adjusting to the new living arrangements and getting know each other.
I encouraged her to ask for help and stop acting like super woman, we discuss and see what works and what doesn’t then we take it from there.
What does wives submit to your husbands mean to you?
It means I don’t undermine my husband’s authority & I’m well aware of my position and function in the marriage.
What does husbands love your wives mean to you?
To have a vision and lead accordingly.
What does parents train up a child in a way they should go mean to you?
Its means plant a good seed in their lives that they will later harvest from, invest in enlightening & preparing them for the future.
What are some of the challenges you’ve faced in your marriage and how did you overcome them?
We have kids with other people, my wife has been married before and I haven’t, so the dynamics were a struggle to navigate, purchasing a house and the financial strain it brings, having a long-distance marriage, my husband working in Rustenburg and us making adjustments on living arrangements, but by the grace of the Lord and our love for each other we overcame, and we continue winning.
What do you mostly fight about?
We hardly fight LOL I believe in losing a fight than losing a relationship, so we actually never argue especially when we see that it’s getting heated, we BOTH let it go.
I used to be argumentative until I met this man but also as I grow in love with him, I realize that some things are not worth fighting about.
What irritates you about each other?
When he is concentrating on soccer & he ignores me when I’m trying to talk to him
Nothing, I do get irritated at times but its never because of her.
How do you keep love alive?
We Pray, We Talk and we PLAY!
Caring for each other and forgiving
What do you do for fun together?
We spend most of our time in church – that has become our fun if we are not out with our kids or watching Netflix.
What do you think marriage is?
2 people who are called to each other by God to fulfil a purpose bigger than them.
Marriage is Gods idea. A union between 2 hearts that live in 2 different bodies but come together to beat as 1.
What makes a marriage work?
Teamwork and Selflessness
What makes it fail?
Selfishness and also wrong expectations, foundations, motives and reasons for the marriage.
It’s important to speak the same language in a marriage.
What do you think is the reason for people to not believe in the institution of marriage?
There’s been a lot of marriages breaking, people no longer do it for love they do it for selfish ambition, people don’t understand what the institution is really about, most people do it for the wedding (the event) and as a result there are a lot of broken people out there continuing to break others.
Do you think pre-marital counselling is important, why?
We didn’t undergo much of it but yes, it’s EXTREMELY important when done with a SOBER mind.
Why do you think there is such a high rate of divorce?
Goes back to SELFISHNESS and people investing more in the event which is the wedding and not the actual institution which is the marriage.
Also, people overlook red flags, they don’t ask uncomfortable questions regarding FAITH, FINANCES, FAMILY and then don’t undergo proper counsel.
What measures can be taken to break the high rate of divorce?
Marry the one you can’t live without, adopt a God-fearing mature couple who has walked the journey, die to self daily, invest in pre-marital counselling sessions and other available marriage seminars, have lots of sex and PRAY A LOT!
However, the foundation must be right, marriage is not about feelings but commitment.
What do you think is the significance of lobola?
Binding 2 Families together “ukwakha ubuhlobo”
Would you advice people to do prenup, in community of property or out of community of property and why?
Depends on the nature and the dynamics of their situation, each to his own.
Is it advisable for couples to live together before marriage, why or why not?
NO, co-habiting is a recipe for disaster as there’s a lot of pretense, most couples divorce when they marry after years of co-habiting because marriage has the ability of revealing true colors
ANYWAY its not the godly thing to do, we encourage holy matrimony, there’s a special Favor for a matrimonial arrangement.
How long do you think couples should date before getting married and in your opinion, is there a way to date or each to their own?
We got married 3 months into our relationship, it depends on what the vision and the reason for the relationship is, if you intend to marry that person they why wait? What is it that you are trying to know that you won’t know in the marriage? Why sleep with them if you are not going to marry them? People should not date AIMLESSLY, this way there won’t be any timeframes.
What do you think is the secret to the longevity of your marriage?
GODS GRACE, there no amount of human effort, ideas and strategies we can put, we can try but ultimately the Lords GRACE is what sustains us.
Whose marriage do you look up to and why?
Our Pastors EM and CM Popela they are not on each other’s necks; they love each other and serve God together.
What advice do you have for people intending to get married? Matthew:6:33 – Seek the Lord FIRST.
Be aware of red flags, don’t marry them if you don’t like and love them especially IF YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT THEM.