Names: Rhoda and Vusi Ka Lubisi
Married since: 2016-06-18
Pet names: Babe
Kids: 3
Scripture foundation: Philippians 4 vs 6 Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God
How did you meet?
I met my wife via a mutual friend on WhatsApp after she changed her profile picture and put a picture of them together
Was it love at first sight?
For him it was for her it wasnt – I got to know him first via chats and phone calls before I could fall in love with him
What attracted you to each other?
Vusi: her beauty was exactly what I prayed for, even her character – strong, loving and kind
Rhoda: his calm character and he’s funny
Why did you get married?
Vusi: I felt the time was right, because I prayed about her before and the exact time I wanted to marry her
Rhoda: I was ready to settle with him
How did he propose?
Rhoda: at church, he went down on one knee and asked for my hand in marriage
How has marriage changed you?
Vusi: I’m a better person now, it changed my way of thinking, I think like a husband, the head of the house and a leader
Rhoda: I was bitter and had anger towards men because of past experiences, so now I’m better and no longer bitter.
What has marriage taught you?
Vusi: To be strong as a husband and the head of the house, to always believe in winning
Rhoda: it has taught me to be patient, persevere, and to compromise.
What do you love most about being married?
Vusi: I love being loved and being cuddled by my wife
Do you have specific roles designated to each other?
Yes we do but we prefer co-operating with each other
What do you think are the roles of husbands and wives in marriage?
Well marriages are not the same, it depends on what couples prefer their marriages to be like
Do you believe in love languages? If so, what are yours and does your partner communicate them well?
Vusi: yes I believe in love languages, I love being held and kissed well, sometimes I don’t get that
Rhoda: yes I believe in love languages, I love gifts and money.
What is the most romantic thing you’ve done for your spouse?
We don’t have anything specific because we’re romantic almost everyday.
How important do you think it is for couples to have a strong friendship and share common interests? What are some of the interests you share with your spouse?
It’s very important to keep a strong friendship because it keeps the relationship strong and we share almost everything
How do you balance marriage, work and raising children, if any?
We put family first in everything and there’s always time for everything.
What does wives submit to your husbands mean to you?
Rhoda: it means, supporting my husband, respecting my husband’s authority and decisions. The women who submits to her husband is putting trust in him to make the best decisions for the family
What does husbands love your wives mean to you?
Vusi: it means we should love and respect ourselves first as husbands before we can love our wives
What does parents train up a child in a way they should go mean to you?
isizulu sithi indlela ibuzwa kwaba phambili, my kids have to learn from us as parents, we sit and teach them right and wrong.
What are some of the challenges you’ve faced in your marriage and how did you overcome them?
Vusi: infidelity was once my challenge, she found out and got hurt, I then realised that I needed to stop and we overcame this by praying about it and I became very open to her.
Rhoda: financial challenges, we overcame by relocating back to Pretoria and we got our breakthrough.
What do you mostly fight about?
We hardly fight, honestly
What irritates you about each other?
Nothing
How do you keep love alive?
Praying together, love languages
What do you do for fun together?
We dance, we sing, we joke and we go out.
What do you think marriage is?
Marriage is a sacred, legal and binding union of two people to journey through adult life as partners in a personal relationship of companionship, fulfillment and love, and for the purpose of producing offspring. Marriage is the foundation of family, and family is the fundamental unit of society.
What makes a marriage work?
Communication, sacrifice and compromise
What make it fail?
Dishonesty and no communication
What do you think is the reason for people to not believe in the institution of marriage?
Negative things people hear from other people’s experiences in their marriages
Do you think pre-marital counselling is important, why?
Very important, premarital counseling can help you develop a better understanding of your partner. In particular it can help you understand your partner’s beliefs, values, expectations, motivations, priorities and routine.
Why do you think there is such a high rate of divorce?
Basically getting married for wrong reasons, dishonesty, infertility and lies
What measures can be taken to break the high rate of divorce?
Go for counseling, talk about your needs, spend more quality time together, accept that your spouse is human just like you and understand the biggest issues about your marriage.
What do you think is the significance of lobola?
Lobola is a token of appreciation to the bride’s parents and shouldn’t be seen as a chance to make a quick buck
Would you advice people to do prenup, in community of property or out of community of property and why?
People are not the same, therefore we cannot advise people whether to do prenup or not
Is it advisable for couples to live together before marriage, why or why not?
No, it is not biblical
How long do you think couples should date before getting married and in your opinion, is there a way to date or each to their own?
There’s no specific period, for example my wife and I got married after a year of dating and some get married after 10 years so there’s no period of dating.
What do you think is the secret to the longevity of your marriage?
Prayer, putting God first in everything.
Whose marriage do you look up to and why?
Vusi : I look up to Ntokozo and Nqubeko Mbatha, because I love the way they support and love one another
What advice do you have for people intending to get married?
Pray for the person you want to marry before y’all get married, be sure of your decision making when you marry.